Town of York Beach Ordinances — How NOT to Write!

Once in a great while, we are privy to a document containing so many typos, missing or wrong words, errors in punctuation and grammar, and cases of unclear language, redundant verbiage, and questionable content, that it serves as a teaching device for others. The Town of York Beach Ordinances on display at York Beach, Maine is one such glaring example, and the authors of this masterpiece were so proud of their writing that they printed it on sheet metal for posterity.

Gather together now, and we will dissect this example of a poorly phrased, poorly proofread document, one gruesome ordinance at a time, so that future generations can learn never to write like this again.

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Dressing and Undressing

Dressing, undressing and the changing of clothes are not permitted within the limits of the beach, except in the bathhouses or other structures suitable for this purpose.

What’s wrong?

• If “Dressing”, “Undressing”, and “the changing of clothes” truly constitute three distinct things, there should be an Oxford comma after “undressing”, which is the penultimate term. This writing practice was instilled in me by my esteemed 7th grade English teacher, Mrs. Clark, and I remain a stickler for her guidance to this day. Since it’s rather obvious that the writer of these ordinances has a flimsy grasp of the language, the Associated Press Stylebook of comma usage, to which experienced journalists adhere, is simply an invitation to confusion.
• Curiously, the word, “purpose”, (which is incorrect, since dressing is an activity, not a purpose), is referenced singularly in this context, so the writer must have considered the three aforementioned actions one of the same even though the verb “to be” is conjugated in the plural. The wording is therefore both confusing and redundant.
• What does “within the limits of the beach” mean? That which is visible from the beach or physically on the beach?
• If I were to remove my shirt before jumping in the water, wouldn’t that be prohibited since I would be undressing? And if I put my shirt back on after my swim, wouldn’t that be just as egregious, since, after all, I would be “dressing”?
• What “other structures” are suitable for the “purpose” (wrong word) of dressing besides a bathhouse, and is it really necessary to imply that others may exist?
• Isn’t the gist of this ordinance to prohibit beach nudity? If so, why not just say so and do away with all the verbosity and suggestive phrasing?

How should it be written?

Beach nudity is prohibited. Change clothes in private.

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Fire and Grills

There shall no fires or grills of any kind on any public beach without written approval of the Fire Department

What’s wrong?

• Sentence is missing a verb: “There shall *be* no fires …”
• “… on any beach” is unnecessary. These are the Town of York beach ordinances. It’s redundant.
• “… of any kind” is unnecessary. Do we really think someone is going to read this rule and think of a special type of fire or grill that could be excluded?
• “… written approval ..” is unnecessary. What matters is that people who want to make a fire need to run the idea by the fire department first. If the fire department doesn’t approve, they simply can’t. Whether the approval is written is immaterial.
• Grills themselves aren’t the issue. It’s only grills that are actually being used at the time for grilling. Current wording suggests that if I delivered a boxed grill to a friend at the beach, it would violate the ordinance.
• Sentence is missing a period.

How should it be written?

Fires and heated grills are prohibited without prior Fire Department approval.

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Alcoholic Beverages

No person shall have in their possession any container of alcoholic beverage, on the public beaches.

What’s wrong?

• “Person” is singular; “their” is a third person possessive adjective that is used only if the owner is in its plural form.
• The comma separating “beverage” and “on the public beach” is misused. There is no pause. Delete!
• “… container of alcoholic beverage …” is wordy and misfocused. It’s not the containers that are barred but the alcohol.
• Ditto for “… have in their possession …” — “have” and “in possession” are redundant, unless there’s a loophole to have it in someone else’s possession.
• “… on the public beaches” is unnecessary and inconsistent writing. This rule is listed among the “Beach Ordinances”, so obviously it applies to the beach and doesn’t need to be restated. But here it’s used in the plural — public beaches — as if there may be an opportunity to have drinks on multiple beaches simultaneously.

How should it be written?

Alcoholic beverages are not allowed.

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Sleeping and Camping

The use of the public beach for sleeping or camping are prohibited between the hours of midnight and sunrise.

What’s wrong?

• Midnight and sunrise are not hours of the day; they are daily events.
• “The use” is a singular noun, yet the verb “to be” is conjugated in the plural.
• “The use … for …sleeping …” is passive, excessively wordy, and just bad English. Using the gerund is preferred: “Sleeping is …”
• In this context, “sleeping or camping” is redundant, since camping is an outdoor activity involving overnight stays away` from home with or without a shelter. What’s at issue here is that the town doesn’t want people sleeping on the beach after hours, whether they be in tents or in the open. The term “camping” applies to both scenarios.
• Referring to the public beach is once again unnecessary. These are beach ordinances. We don’t need to be reminded that beach ordinances are ordinances for the beach, nor that “Town” beach ordinances apply to *public* beaches rather than private beaches where the town obviously lacks jurisdiction.

How should it be written?

Camping is not allowed.

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Surfing

Surfing is prohibited at York Beaches from June 14th to and including Labor Day between the hours of 9:00 AM and 5:00 PM except on Long Sands Beach in areas defined as the mixed use zone. A surf leash is required at all times and surfers must maintain a minimum distance of 35’ from any swimmer.

What’s wrong?

• York Beaches is not a proper noun. “Beaches” should not be capitalized.
• Reminding us once again that this is an ordinance for the beach when the sign clearly states that these are beach ordinances is like asking us what president is on the Lincoln penny.
• “… to and including …” is a long winded way of saying “through”.
• “June 14th” should really be June 14. Dates should not be written in a ordinal form unless referring to a particular day of the month, such as the 4th of July.
• “…between the hours of” is unnecessary verbiage. Remember that beach ordinances need to be read quickly. “Between” or “from / to” is far simpler.
• It’s impossible to know what exception is extended to Long Sands Beach. Is surfing always permitted there or outside of the designated dates and/or hours?
• “… defined as” probably means “labeled”. Potential surfers won’t be on the lookout for textual definitions but rather clearly marked areas, although thanks to this ordinance, nothing will be clear.
• The “Mixed use zone” is color-coded on the bottom of the sign, but we can only speculate what that term means. The sign should define it and come up with a better term.
• “A surf leash is required at all times” is passive language. Ordinances should be direct, i.e. state explicitly who needs to do what. Is it alright to go surfing if someone on the beach uses a surf leash on their dog? Clearly not, but ordinances need to avoid the potential ambiguity from awkward phrases.
• The word “any” is wrong, unless the town is truly satisfied if surfers stay 35’ away from at least one swimmer. As presently worded, there could be twenty people in close proximity, but as long as the surfer identifies someone far away, he’s not in violation.
• How is a surfer supposed to know if he is 35’ away from others? How could he possibly know if it’s only 33’? Adding this stipulation is useless unless the town expects everyone to carry tape measures in the water.

How should it be written?

Surfing is prohibited June 14 through Labor Day, 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM, excluding the Long Sands Beach Mixed Use Zone. Surfers must wear surf leashes and maintain a safe distance from all others in the water.

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Playing Games

The playing of hard ball or softball, football, soccer, golf, iron horseshoes or any other games which endanger other persons are prohibited on beaches from May 1st to October 15th except with written permission from the Town of York

What’s wrong?

• Verb conjugation is wrong. The playing *is* prohibited, not *are”.
• Like many other phrases on the sign, “The playing of” is passive language and, consequently, unnecessarily wordy for a list of ordinances that should be clear and concise. This is especially true as the first bullet of a section with the phrase as its namesake.
• “Hard ball” and “softball” aren’t two peas in a pod and shouldn’t be grouped as such. It’s not as if hard ball is played with a hard ball but a softball has some fluffy nerf consistency. Also, “Hard ball” should be “hardball”, but since it’s already colloquial for “baseball”, it should refer to the game by its proper title.
• Horseshoes — the ones thrown for fun — are generally made of steel, not iron. However, qualifying the type of horseshoes is ridiculous unless the town is only disallowing certain metals.
• “… any other games” in this context, since six were already listed, should be in the singular.
• Listing six games in this manner is ridiculous. Why stop at six? Why not add lawn darts, archery, and paintball, too?
• By definition, these games do not endanger others. They *might* endanger others in certain situations. Accordingly, the wording is ambiguous.
• Specifying “… on beaches” is again unnecessary since we’ve clearly established that these ordinances are specifically for the beach.
• May 1st and October 15th are mislabeled; dates listed this way should not be in the ordinal form.
• In the surfing ordinance, the actual end date was included in the prohibition. Here, a simpler form of date A *to* date B is used. Is that because of inconsistency or because games really are permitted beginning October 15?
• What does “with written permission from the Town of York” mean? From whom, exactly, and how does one seek this permission?
• The sentence is missing a period.

How should it be written?

Unless expressly permitted by the town clerk, all ball games, horseshoes, or any other activities which might endanger others are prohibited from May 1 to October 15.

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Removal of Sand, Rocks and Plant Life

The removal of sand, rocks or plant life is not allowed, except that seaweed may be removed with written permission from the Town of York

What’s wrong?

• In the title, “Rocks” should be followed by a comma, because as written it suggests there is life in rocks.
• In the actual ordinance, “rocks” should also be followed by a comma. There’s also inconsistency with the title: should the phrasing be “rocks and plant life” or “rocks or plant life”?
• Plant life is redundant. There is no such thing as sand life or rock life. Plants are already alive. Therefore, it’s sufficient to say “plants” without qualifying them as a form of life.
• “The removal of” is once again passive English and suboptimal for reasons described previously.
• The exception phrase about seaweed is unnecessarily wordy since it repeats the notion of removal already introduced at the beginning.
• The sentence structure is juvenile, as if a child wrote it.
• What does “with written permission from the Town of York” mean? From whom exactly, and how does one seek this permission?
• The sentence is missing a period.

How should it be written?

Removing sand, rocks, or plants is prohibited. Seaweed may be collected with prior approval from the town clerk.

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Motor Vehicle, Aircraft, Etc.

Motor vehicles, aircraft, bicycles and motor scooters are prohibited from being on public beaches.

What’s wrong?

• The title and sentence don’t align. Are they referring to motor vehicle or motor vehicles?
• Bicycles are not a form of scooters; per the Oxford rule, there’s a missing comma.
• Motor scooters fall into the category of motor vehicles. Why are they singled out specifically? Why not motorcycles, mopeds, and motorbikes?
• Is it really necessary to tell people that they can’t fly their aircraft onto the beach? What about someone’s blimp or hot air balloon? It’s like prohibiting armed robbery, physical assault, and domestic abuse. Some things don’t need to be said.
• If the ordinance meant to outlaw motor-operated electric planes and drones rather than private Cessna turboprops and commercial Boeing aircraft, that should have been made clear.
• “.. are prohibited from being …” is unnecessarily wordy. Moreover, it anthropomorphizes vehicles and aircrafts by suggesting that they can be allowed or disallowed from doing certain things.
• As in other cases, the inconsistency between beach and beaches in the various ordinances is unnerving while also suggesting the absurd possibility of violations occurring in two different places simultaneously.
• It’s not necessary to repeat yet again that the ordinance applies to the beach since it’s a list of beach ordinances.

How should it be written?

Bikes, drones, and motorized vehicles are not allowed.

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Trash Disposal

The disposal of trash or cigarette butts is prohibited on all beaches, except in receptacles placed by the town along the beaches for this purpose. Receptacles shall not be used for trash refuse generated at homes or lodging.

What’s wrong?

• Passive language is once again suboptimal. Ordinances should not pussyfoot around.
• Cigarette butts are trash; there shouldn’t be a choice.
• Is it alright to dispose of cigarettes but not cigarette butts?
• “Cigarettes” is inclusive of cigarette butts. “Butts” is unnecessary detail.
• “Beaches” is mentioned twice despite the fact that 1) these ordinances are for the beach, yet the writing continues to flip flop between the singular and plural forms of the location willy-nilly and 2) we’ve already established that these are beach ordinances, so it’s wasted space to remind readers of this fact.
• A comma is not needed before “except”.
• “… receptacles placed by the town along the beaches for this purpose …” is a long-winded, pseudo-intellectual, potentially confusing way of saying “designated receptacles.” Nobody cares who put them there.
• “Homes” should be singular, unless the town assumes beach goers are going to round up all the trash they’ve generated in the three or four investment properties in town, haul them to the beach, and dump them on the sand before taking a swim.
• “…homes or lodging” is redundant.
• “… trash refuse generated …” is thrice redundant.

How should it be written?

Dispose of trash (including cigarettes) in designated receptacles. Trash from home is prohibited.

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Dogs and Domestic Animals

Dogs or domestic animals are not allowed on the beach between 8: AM and 6:00 PM from May 20th to September 20th. Dogs must be leashed at all times except from sunrise to 8:00 AM for purpose of exercise. During this time dogs must be under voice control and owners must carry a leash. Owners are required to remove and dispose of any feces left by their animal.

What’s wrong?

• Dogs *are* domestic animals, unless the writer is implying that the African wild dog wanting to visit the beach would consult and abide by this ordinance instead.
• The title and first part of the ordinance do not jive: is it dogs AND domestic animals or is it dogs OR domestic animals?
• The entire ordinance focuses on dogs, so why does it mention “domestic animals” in the aggregate? Is the town really afraid that people will bring pet rabbits and guinea pigs?
• The sign is entitled “Beach Ordinances”, so we already know that the rules are for the beach. Qualifying the animal restriction to “on the beach” is unnecessary and adds to an already verbose document.
• 8: AM is a typo.
• May 20th and September 20th should be May 20 and September 20. Dates written in this context should be as cardinal numbers, not ordinal.
• “…sunrise to 8:00 AM” is unparalleled English. The writing is mixing an event with a precise time.
• “… for purpose” is missing its article.
• “… for [the] purpose of exercise” is wordy: “for exercise” is sufficient.
• Whose exercise is in question — the owner or the dog? What constitutes exercise? If the dog and owner are merely walking, does that qualify, or must they both be running? Must the owner be doing jumping jacks or lifting weights?
• The entire ordinance is confusing. The town is saying simultaneously that dogs must be leashed “at all times” even though they aren’t allowed at all during the day but can run free in the early morning.
• Commas are needed after “During this time” and “control”.
• Referring to “… any feces left by their animal” makes the last sentence both unnecessarily precise and unintentionally ambiguous. Know your audience! The very people who are least likely to clean up after their dogs are the ones who are least likely to grasp the meaning of this requirement.

How should it be written?

Dogs not allowed 8:00 AM to 6:00 AM, May 20 to September 20. After hours, dogs must be under voice control and owners carry a leash. Pick up after your pet!

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Lifeguard Flag System

What’s wrong?

• Why is this here? Color symbols aren’t ordinances. The sign should at least advise bathers to respect the posted flags. Moreover, what makes any of this a “system”?
• “Mixed Use Zone” is unclear. What does this mean? What should I do or avoid if I see an orange sign?

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Detailed descriptions of each ordinance are available on the Towns Website:

www.yorkmaine.org/Documents/All Town Codes

What’s wrong?

• The ordinances are already detailed. Why would anyone want to read more about them?
• “Towns” is missing an apostrophe.
• “Website” should not be capitalized.
• The URL is misprinted: there shouldn’t be any spaces surrounding “town”. Any attempt to reach this partial link is met by the error message, “We’re sorry, but there is not a web page matching your entry.”
• The correct URL is: https://www.yorkmaine.org/DocumentCenter/View/716/Beach-Ordinance-PDF?bidId=, but since nobody wandering the beach can be expected to make note of such gobbledygook, listing it here is merely an unsightly distraction. It also takes up valuable space which forces the formatting to reduce font to accommodate the excess text.

How should it be written?

It shouldn’t. It should be deleted.

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Summary — How should the ordinances read, top to bottom?

Here it is! Here is a rewrite of the York Beach Ordinances sign without the typos, grammatical errors, missing words, redundant language, and unnecessary titles. We’ve gone from 336 words to 164.

• Beach nudity is prohibited. Change clothes in private.
• Fires and heated grills are prohibited without prior Fire Department approval.
• Alcoholic beverages are not allowed.
• Camping is not allowed.
• Surfing is prohibited June 14 through Labor Day, 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM, excluding the Long Sands Beach Mixed Use Zone. Surfers must wear surf leashes and maintain a safe distance from all others in the water.
• Unless expressly permitted by the town clerk, all ball games, horseshoes, or any other activities which might endanger others are prohibited May 1 to October 15.
• Removing sand, rocks, or plants is prohibited. Seaweed may be collected with prior approval from the town clerk.
• Bikes, drones, and motorized vehicles are not allowed.
• Dispose of trash (including cigarettes) in designated receptacles. Trash from home is prohibited.
• Dogs not allowed 8:00 AM to 6:00 AM, May 20 to September 20. After hours, dogs must be under voice control and owners carry a leash. Pick up after your pet!