New Wonder Woman Woefully Weak
[**Some spoilers after second paragraph!**]
With the exception of Gal Gadot’s stunning beauty, almost everything remarkable about the first Wonder Woman movie is lacking in WW84. The script is lousy, acting mediocre, action scenes limited, villains unconvincing, and pace tedious.
Fundamentally, nothing seems to make any sense. Why is this set in 1984 anyway? There’s really no significance to the 1980s outside of the cold war with the Soviet Union and the threat of nuclear annihilation. Ironically, when war is imminent, the enemy is referred to as “Russia” as if the iron curtain has already fallen. Meanwhile, who is this caricatural, used car salesman villain, and how does he know about the wishing stone? Why does he have a child of Asian descent, and where is his mother? Why have the writers typecast Kristen Wiig for the role of a socially-awkward museum “expert” (who never demonstrates any true expertise) turned cheetah? She’s a one trick pony, and her presence feels like a Saturday Night Live take on “Cats”. Whatever happens to the person whose body and lodging are taken over by Diana’s BFF Steve, or aren’t we supposed to care? And while the movie theme — from the disappointed, cheating girl Diana to the noble and triumphant woman Diana — deals ostensibly about truth, what does “truth” have to do with the wishing stone? It’s a copout message that’s about as empty and pointless as associating sunlight with garden growth.
Character development is non-existent. We never feel close to anyone, never worry for their well-being, never observe a logical change in behavior based on the events in the film. Even worse, nothing is consistent. Why are the “costs” of some granted wishes incurred immediately while others take a long time to manifest? Diana only loses a bit of her powers while retaining her ability to fight, but political leaders are stripped of their “power” that very instant. And how come Diana is able to continue functioning (in freshly changed clothing that appears out of nowhere) even though she’s shot and badly hurt from losing grip of her lasso? (Note that the lasso is way overused in this film as if it’s Diana’s only recourse.) Another problem comes from Gal Gadot, herself. Perhaps she developed a speech impediment or fell back upon a strong Israeli accent since the first film, but either way, there are several instances where she doesn’t articulate well and her English is difficult to understand. Shame on the producers for not working this with her! It doesn’t help that Diana is quiet-spoken throughout the movie, including noisy battle scenes, even though the other characters are somehow able to hear her above the chaos.
The loose ends are so plentiful, it’s hard to believe anything. How do Diana and an overacted, awestruck Steve wander onto a runway (behind the Smithsonian?) with a completely fueled supersonic military jet, and how does her WWI propeller pilot manage to fly it like a pro? How do they manage to pinpoint their villain in Egypt almost immediately (after flying over the pyramids!) and make it back to Washington so soon after her phone call with Barbara? How does Diana gain entrance into the White House so quickly? What’s the secret behind her first lassoing an airplane to gain leverage to propel her into flight and then lassoing a bunch of clouds? At what point does she reverse course while flying at top speed to interrupt the “broadcast” in order to pick up the gold-plated armor in her apartment? Why does she apologize to Cheetah who refuses to renounce her wish, when she ultimately saves the electrocuted cat from the water anyway? What’s the logic behind fighting vigorous battles when Diana could use the element of surprise by activating her invisibility cloak (as she does earlier with the military jet) and capturing the villains without them even realizing she is there? Finally, what happens to Max Lord after things calm down? Is it really enough to tell his son, “Your father is a liar and loser after all”, for him to receive total redemption for coming within seconds of destroying the entire planet out of sheer laziness and greed? And could the writers have exercised any more gratuitous slurp than to have Diana run into an attractive man who just happens to be dressed like her ex, only to allow him to wander off into the abyss?
All in all, this film is a major disappointment: a mishmash of disjointed ideas and events, poor performances, and an unconvincing and tedious storyline that has little to do with 1984. WW84 represents an enormous waste of money and time and an embarrassing sequel to an excellent first movie. Better to rewatch the exciting and uplifting original than suffer through this failed attempt at extending its glory.
